From the moment I saw the two lines on that pregnancy test, my whole world changed. I was in absolute awe and so blessed to have a little angel growing inside of me. Being diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis, I was always so afraid that my dream to be a mumma wouldn’t come true.
So, with my prayers answered, I started to plan. For a great pregnancy, an easy birth and the most relaxed fourth trimester.. little did I know that this was completely impossible, well for me anyway!
Pregnancy was challenging in itself, labour was long and a little traumatic and the fourth trimester was overwhelming! But why wasn’t I prepared for this?
Everybody, every mum and every baby has a different journey. We are not the same, so don’t compare, rule number one. Secondly, you can’t plan for something that has too many variables. We just need to believe in what destiny has planned for us!
I remember saying to myself, I can’t wait to breastfeed my baby. I can’t wait to share that journey with him/her, but my fate had something different planned for me. My baby boy had troubles latching, which I didn’t understand as I thought breastfeeding just came ‘naturally.’ Unfortunately for me, it didn’t and it broke my heart and it took me a long time to come to terms with this part of my motherhood journey. I’ve been expressing from the moment he was born and still doing so today, with the help of formula to get my through low supply times.
Not being able to breastfeed him was emotionally and mentally challenging at times. It made me feel so stressed and inadequate as a mum. It wasn’t until, one morning, I had him in my arms and locked eyes with him, that I knew deep down inside that everything I was doing for him was my absolute best and my love for him was beyond anything I could imagine. This was my positive turning point.
With many highs in my motherhood journey, there were some lows too. It is so important to get as much support as possible, whether it be your partner, your parent or a friend. Never fear asking for help and know that what you are doing is amazing! You’ve got this mumma!
Tarryn Krysten is a Melbourne based model, influencer and first time mama of one! She has worked with brands such as Ergobaby, Holden, Target Australia and Cotton On previously. Her and her husband feel so very blessed to be parents to their beautiful baby boy Zander. Zander is super adorable, cheeky at times and Tarryn’s greatest achievement yet.